< 6mL

Sometimes, I’m not sure what’s deeper; desire or despair. Wanting something and being ready for what you wanted are two completely different things. I’ve always wanted you even tho I’ve lied to myself for years about it. With every new moon I give myself false hope for wanting you. Like I said, I never did. My preferences were always fuzzy. And I realistically realize once again I’m not ready and possibly can’t even have you. A torturous cycle all for a life that could very well be miserable and redundantly pointless. How long will I continue to live this lie. We both know we might never be ready for the unknown. Fooling ourselves thinking love will solve every problem. The problem is I’m a hopeless romantic who actually believes that. All this deconstruction and de-conditioning of trauma, seems never ending if you ask me. So what makes me think you’re the answer to it all. A love so unbeknownst so powerful, so cinematically compassionate yet realistically life changing So let’s just keep counting our blessings. One day we might get “lucky”.