Too

When you hear me say it too, let me translate it for you. What I mean to say is, I’m so grateful but so scared of losing you. When you say I love you and I respond with thank you, I don’t want you to think I don’t love you back. What my heart is dying to say to you is, I have never felt this safe before. And I want you to know this haven of emotional comfort you’re giving me is so unfamiliar, it makes cautiously comfortable, but I’m so happy that it’s you. What I’m really trying to say is, I know you’ll never understand how hard it’s been for me to trust another person and I’m sorry for having inflicted my traumas on you, although you have healed me each time we talk them though. I’m hoping you will receive me and all my imperfections. I’m scared of what our past misunderstandings might mean for our future, but I’m holding onto you because there’s no one else I’d rather hold onto than you. You who continues to love me inside and out, so purely and imperfectly, wholeheartedly and spiritually. I feel our souls combine each time I sink into your chest. When you squeeze me tighter and hold me closer, enough to hear your heart beat the drums inside my ears. The warmth of your hands and your hands alone, when you wrap your arms around me is all I need to be revived from that dark and painfully familiar fog of doubt. When the past seeps through the cracks of my healing heart, making it hard to mend, it may be difficult to receive your kind gestures. I might be too much in my head to be convincing but I’m still here. Please believe me when I say it back, I’m learning from you how to love another person as selflessly as you do. When I return your sentiments, please read between the lines and understand I’m offering you a small piece of comfort within the fortress of my heart. Fearfully, and yet so much more easily each day, I mean it when I say, I love you too.