Quicksand

I’m gasping for air. I’m grasping for anything around me to pull me out of this place i’m in.

How did I get here? I thought I made the right decisions? I followed my heart and it was lonely. So why am I still sinking?

I’m losing oxygen but I can still see the light above be. It’s getting smaller by the minute I close my eyes and I fight the darkness trying to engulf me and drag me down. I know what’s down there and I don’t want to go back. I chose love to escape the hell beneath me so why do I keep on sinking? 

I don’t understand. Why is this happening? One moment I feel happy, hopeful even. And the next I’m right back here. Call it hypoxia from euphoria, but I’m not the same as I once was. 

I need to let the darkness have me just once more. That’s the only way out of this hole. 

Why oh why can’t it just let me go? 

Or is it me?

Is it my fault for desperately trying to hang on to something that will only slip through my fingers.

Like time in the sand, I’m searching for your hand.