Killing Jezebel

I spent a lot of time wanting you dead. Doing the honors of planning it for you. Carefully thought out plans to buy the bottles, the cloths, the lighters, the bricks, the tracks, the trunk, the ropes, the knives. Waiting for the day I see you together before I strike with thunder, and lightning, fire and blood. Kind of what you did when your poisoned whispers poured into the ears of my other half. You venomous bitch. The dreams and nightmares I still have of you together, after your conspiring to kill me slowly. Tell me then Jezebel and riddle me this, why was he so unhappy? Since you know him better than I, a true confidant should know. My diagnosis was an allergic reaction to joy and forgiveness resistance. For your sake I hope you’re now aware that your new patient is contagious— alexithemia and narcissism cannot be cured only spread to the new host. Habitual lying is another symptom and it begins with future faking and crocodile tears. Maybe you showed me mercy in your efforts to kill our relationship. He said “I want you to be free” so he turned his heart cold against me, breaking the lease on my heart inside his chest. Just like you planned.

I hope you’re happy Jezebel with the Levitation I couldn’t cast out. My prayers, exorcisms and sexorcims, blood, sweat and tears were never enough and he left me for dead. Western medicine and divine intervention kept me alive with every passing train. I loved him Jezebel, the man he tried to be while fighting the evil forces inside of him. Have you ever loved anyone? So much it made the creator of Heaven jealous. Maybe it was HE who sent you— to save me from drowning, struggling to breathe and complete an assignment that was never mine. It was painful to leave behind my greatest achievement and deepest love but because of HIS mercy and your evil plans I survived with my life in tact. My heart is now with God, thanks to you. So maybe I should thank you for ruining my relationship in order to save my life. I may nat realize it now but you were part of HIS plan from the beginning. But this time I hope HE kills you and his other demons too— in hopes to save him from himself and save his soul for God.